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“I would be afraid that my partner would forget the pill and that my body would pay the price”

  • On the occasion of World Contraception Day this Tuesday, we asked ourselves: if an effective male pill were to be put on the market, would women give up their own contraception? We asked our readers about this topic.
  • “I have never been able to fully trust my partner, who can keep forgetting his keys or papers,” says Alice, 45.
  • But for Marina (33), the excuse for forgetting does not apply. “Even a woman can forget. »

The male pill, or the long-awaited grail. A team of scientists announced last March that they had developed male contraceptive pill without hormones 99% effective in mice. Although none are ready to be marketed yet, 20 minutes, we like to dream. And we pushed the reasoning a little further.

On the occasion of World Contraception Day this Tuesday, we asked ourselves: if an effective male pill were created, would women give up IUD, their implant or their own pill? According to the answers to our call to testifys, no less certain.

Fear of pregnancy if you forget

For some of the women who responded to us, going off their own birth control will largely depend on the type of birth control their man is taking. “If what my partner is offered is a daily pill, I will not give up my contraception, because I am afraid that he will forget it and that in the end my body will pay the price,” confides Aude, 55 years old. On the other hand, if it was an implant or any other means without daily control, I would clearly stop my contraception. »

The fear of being forgotten seems to be omnipresent among the testimonies received. “I could never fully trust my partner who kept forgetting his keys or papers,” laments Alice, 45 years old. Because if the pill is not taken, only one of the two stomachs will be rounded. “How can you trust someone who won’t fully suffer the consequences of forgetting? “, insists the forty-year-old. According to Alexandra Afsary, a socio-anthropologist and research associate at the University of Applied Sciences of Western Switzerland, “this lack of trust is particularly linked to gender stereotypes, in which women are more responsible and men more impulsive. »

But that is not all. “The issue of trust is also very much related to gender socialization. women, from their first period, learned that they can have a child and that they must be careful, analyzes the socio-anthropologist. Often their mother takes them to the gynecologist to take pills and then they often return there every two years. This is not the case with men. For them, a child’s question is disembodied. »

Baby “back”

But forgetting is not the only fear of women who decide to continue using their own contraception. Solenn, aged 30, would be particularly afraid that a man would lie to her by falsely claiming to be on the pill. “I would still continue with contraception to control what could happen. Because the baby behind my back would be a baby in my stomach, with all the consequences that an unwanted pregnancy entails. » A vision shared by a socio-anthropologist. “Contraception in the hands of women is above all power. The fact that men use contraception must not deprive women of their freedom of choice. »

Is it primarily a question of the type of relationship we are in? Virginie, 47, makes a big difference between a companion and a one-night stand. “For relationships without a future, condom necessarily, not to get pregnant but also to preserve my health. » On the other hand, she would be happy to let her partner take responsibility for contraception. “I would prefer it to be divided. »

The male pill is “the dream of many women”, says Marina, 33 years old. “We have to take care of contraception, periods, pregnancies, childbirth, in short, everything related to medical issues. » So she would gladly let her man take his little daily pill. For her, the excuse of forgetting does not apply because “even a woman can forget.” »

Belt and shoulder straps

Some women are more mixed. “Two contraceptives are better than one or none”, believes Amira, 45 years old. The same speech for Solenna, 30 years old, who sees in it “double security for women. » “Better to have too much than too little.” »

Alexandra Afsary plussilk. According to the socio-anthropologist, contraception should not be seen as a one-sided tool. “It is still the same today, because the contraception that exists on the market is intended exclusively for women, but it is of recent date in the history of contraception. Before these medical methods, contraception was a couple’s business. Contrary to popular belief, the decline in birth rates began before the pill was approved, with methods such as the calendar or withdrawal (only 73% effective in practice, as we recall, compared to 92% for the pill and 99, 8% for IUD, according to WHO). »

So what to do? Alexandra Afsary advocates individual responsibility. “If a man does not want children, he must also take responsibility. This will involve different socialization, but also less gender-oriented sex education with the question condom reserved for men, and contraception for women. » A vision shared by Alice, 45 years old. “Men of my generation were never used to taking responsibility for this topic. Perhaps the next generations will understand the importance of this sharing, it is up to us to explain it to our children. » The message has arrived.

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